Friday, July 16

PISSED OFF.

It's been awhile since I've been so pissed off that I've burst into tears.. And right now I cannot stop crying. & I hope you all are talking about me because I'm pretty sure you are but that just goes to show what kind of friends you are.
xoxo,
f'kn C'aria.

your opinion doesn't matter.

So, just saying if you're not my mom/best friend/boyfriend then your opinion really doesn't matter to me to be honest so just don't even say anything to me 'cause HONESTLY I may ACT as if I care but I really don't give a shit. I'm basically about to go off right about now, ugh.
xoxo,
C'aria.

Thursday, July 15

I have no clue what I'm doing.

I am not doing the letters anymore.. Well if I do it won't be in that order 'cause I really slacked off.. I just want to write specific letters in that list. But lately I've been hanging out with my 2thugs and that's about it.. Nobody else at all. I don't know what's up with that.. I'll be moving into my apartment, UGH, uh Sunday or Monday which is exciting 'cause I have an address !!!!!! Yay, I will be going to GHS with my friends :) I have this temper, lately, that is getting out of hand -- seriously. I've been going off on EVERYBODY&ANYBODY without even caring. Oh, I got my tattoo :) I was so excited to get it ! I didn't even think about the pain that was going to come with it but it hurt, a lot. It's soo tiny though in my opinion but that shitttt hurt like hell. I couldn't decide on the position & I was really leaning on my shoulder because the best friend suggested it & it seemed like a perfect spot but everybody else was like no, get it on your foot! But nobody could tell me what part of my foot to get it on so yeah my uncle & this girl ended up picking the spot exactly. Last night the boyfriend came over anddd it was great, things felt better between us *thumbs up*. He lost his keys though -- we have yet to find them -- and my mom, him, grandma, and my aunt all looked for his keys for like an hour straight then finally I had to drive him to Gautier to get the spare key and then drive him back to OS, we got back at 2:00 in the freaking morning. I was so tired >.< Anyways, tonight should be fun. BWW with the girls :) Later.
xoxo,
C'aria.

oh..pstt.. I need to let go of my grudges but every time I think I'm over it, I see or hear something that just pisses me off all over again... I still hate the people well person that I guess I shouldn't. Oh well. K, now you can go :)

Saturday, July 10

done.

i'm not doing the letters again for awhile & i'm probably done blogging for awhile, too.
xoxo,
C'aria.

Saturday, July 3

lazy.

i don't feel like doing the letter today so i'll do both tomorrow or do three monday :) i'm about to go out -- i think. so have a nice saturday night little readers.
xoxo,
C'aria.

CONFUSED.

What am I suppose to do when I know details about something that I really shouldn't know? Because it puts me in a really awkward situation. I don't like hurting my friends but I don't like seeing my friends hurt.. So, do I be the bad guy or just sit back and watch someone else take that role? Oh, btw little readers, I love my new twitter name :)
xoxo,
C'aria.

Friday, July 2

how long do i wait?

so the interview was an epic fail and now i'm just like f'itttt & i'm going to go apply to a few places and then harass the places i've already applied for but i am still hoping i get a call - yano ? i'ma try this whole post without any capitalization but i'm not sure if i can 'cause it looks cool when i'm texting but it looks kind of dumb while i'm blogging. i was suppose to go out to eat with the boyfriend & the mother to my knowledge at like 7 tonight -- plenty of time to clean & get dressed right ? well apparently he forgot about that 'cause he volunteered himself to go to BWW w/ another couple - wtf? then asks me to go with them in like 30 minutes. uh, hell nah i'm not going to rush to get dressed & rush to clean up just because you forgot about our previous plans. anyways, i HAVE to start doing my summer work soon after sunday i'ma really get to it 'cause none of my shows come on 'till around 7'ish so i'm going to give up watching television to do my summer work. for some reason it really hurts to type right now and my arm feels all funny, so have a nice day little readers ; this rain is relaxing ♥
xoxo,
C'aria.

Day fourteen.

Day 14 — Someone you’ve drifted away from
Dear _______ ,
I am going to keep the name anonymous because I think it's pretty messed up how you treat me like I don't even exist or that we never had a great friendship. We talked 24/7 and you were like my best friend but I guess people change, huh? Drinking and partying is just that important to you that you cannot even hang out with people that don't do that. Well, I'm glad we've drifted apart because all you're doing is wasting your life and f'ing up your liver. So, keep going on pretending we never had a real close bond, it's cool 'cause I'll probably live longer than you ;)
f'you,
C'aria.

Thursday, July 1

job interviewwww.

Yay, my very first job interview is today :) KA-CHING. I really hope I get this job but I'm not sure if I will and I'm not even sure if I blogged about this last night.. I'm really tired, atm.. But if I don't get this job then I am hoping Aero calls me or I'm going to apply to Waffle House -- waitress maybe ? = tips $$ :) but now I do remember blogging about my job interview.. so I'm going to move on to another subject. Last night I was watching Cold Case and it made me cry because these two girls were one of the first girls to get accepted into an all boys military academy or whatever they are called -- i'm not sure but one of the girls left within a week because of the fact she was hurt many times during hell week & one of the boys threatened her by saying "leave now or you'll be carried out in a box" so she left BUT the other girl stayed. She mainly stayed to prove herself to her father who didn't want her to go but him, his dad, & his grandfather all went to that school and she wanted to go, too. The girl shaved her head and was able to do what the guys did + a little more.. She was super tough and didn't want to leave no matter what, she wanted to gain the respect that she deserved and she wasn't going to cry her way through it and she didn't ever complain about the way she was treated.. Well, she went "missing" and three years later her body showed up.. It was one of those To Be Continued episodes but it showed this one guy who I think is the killer.. But it put me in tears watching that show because I hate how those people die and I know it's all fictional but I'm sure stuff like that really happens or happened.. One episode showed where this guy had the opportunity to be treated as a white man and he took that opportunity.. His mom was Cajun so he was much lighter than his family and when he went into the military the guy was like "you must can't read? you marked the box next to nigger." and he saw his chance to be treated as a white man well his friend, black friend, saw this happen but never said anything until years later when the 'white' man was successful and he wasn't but the thing is though he was still the same person, he was still trying to help out his friend and he gave him a house in a really good neighborhood thing that they were building but the bank had denied the guy the loan because he was black. Well the man was like I'll go to the bank and fix it, it must be a mistake.. The black man still killed him though. I just don't understand that. And yes, like I said before I know this is all fictional but still -- dang, you cannot be mad at the fact that he took that opportunity but then again it's pretty messed up that ole dude had to keep his real family secret, keep his real life secret just so that he could live a good life. I'm about to get off here though and go take a shower, have a good day little readers.
xoxo,
C'aria.

Day thirteen.

Day 13 — Someone you wish could forgive you
Dear unforgiving person,
You are nonexistent in my eyes and I honestly cannot think of who you are or possibly could be.
xoxo,
C'aria.