I cannot commit..

I've been saying that I'm going to commit myself back to this blog but for some reason I keep forgetting :/ but I definitely need to start blogging again because of the fact there has been so much built up emotions that I need to let out before I start having anxiety attacks or something. So, I'm single -- AGAIN. No surprise there, huh? But I do have a guy that I'm talking to and I seriously, 100% believe that he is my soulmate. I know it sounds corny BUT he's liked me since the 6th grade, I mean come on, who still remembers their 6th grade crush?! I know I definitely do not! But the only bad thing is that he lives 5FREAKINGhours away. It makes it so hard on me to maintain things with him because lately guys have been throwing themselves on me left and right but I have to just let them be 'cause I don't want to ruin things with me and the longdistanceguy. The only big problem I have with him is the fact that he doesn't say sweet things to me...? I am so used to guys texting me, "good morning beautiful" or "i've been thinking about you" -- things like that but with him it is nothing.. I'll be lucky to even get a good morning from him. He also doesn't call me like 'bay, babe, baby, sweetheart, etc..' but instead it is always C'aria. TF?! That makes me so mad 'cause it just seems like he doesn't want to be on that level with me that I feel like we are already on.. So, I guess in reality he really cannot commit to me. The thing is though I don't want him to, I do not want a boyfriend that lives far away from me and I do not want a boyfriend that cannot trust me -- oh yeah that's another thing he doesn't trust me... he thinks that I'm just saying these things to him and probably 4otherguys, also... but the only thing I want from him is to say that we're talking... So, that he can be mine without actually having to be mine.. if that makes sense. But I need to work on my DBQ 'cause it's kind of due today and I only have a sentence... So, buh-bye (:

xoxo,

C'aria.