My reason to smile.

If I pushed you away, the way you push me away.. Would you still have a lot of reasons to stay?

I don't know where I am going with this post but I am just a jumble of emotions right now.. Happiness, sadness, madness, sickness, etc.. First off: for some odd reason I have not felt terrific the past few days and I don't know why.. It sucks monkey balls though... Second order of business: it is getting closer to Thanksgiving and to the end of the month which means that before long it will be five months for me and Dwight ^___^ yay! I am sooo happy with him, no lie. Yet, I don't feel like the feeling's mutual at all times? I don't know.. right now we aren't talking so of course I'm sad.. I guess I am just too sensitive. I just like it when we are talking & laughing & touching each other & looking at each other but then again when we're not it doesn't necessarily mean something is wrong.. Yeah, this truly is a ramble because I honestly do not know where I am going with this and I am sure it isn't making much sense. I put some italized words at the beginning of this post because I feel like I am pushed away. I do not think it is intentional, it may just be my sensitivity again.. whatever the case may be I still feel like I am pushed away. Maybe it is out of fear? Because at first I was terrified as hell to even get close to someone again and I had all of my walls up but I let those tumble down and now I am vulnerable I guess but I am still not fearful.. So basically, I do not want to be pushed away..... I am about to take a nap I guess. Maybe when I wake up things will be better. At least I hope so because like I said before Dwight makes me soo happy. Oh & yeah I know my happiness should not depend on someone else but it does. Point blank. I wish I could erase the "maybe when I wake up things will be better" because honestly there is nothing wrong with us.. We are happy. We are a great ass couple. I am done rambling. Yuhh. Byes :3