thinking.

"i'm lucky to be in love with my best friend, i'm lucky to have been where i have been, i'm lucky to be coming home again..." So yeah. I have had my ups & definitely my downs, lately. I seriously thought it was over between me & the boyfriend, like there was no way in saving our relationship but after last night I am starting to think differently. I just needed to get some things out and he needed to just listen. Even if that means I was yelling and hitting and beyond upset, it was exactly what our relationship needed... I kept things bottled up way too long. So, now things are getting better... not to the point where if someone asked, "how are you & your boyfriend?" i could honestly reply, "good or great!" but it's getting to that point.. I am coming down with something, I swear. Yesterday, I convinced myself I had a migraine but today I feel the same way I did yesterday just 10x worse. I took medicine and I hope that helps, one of my friends said the thing I really need is sex, lmao. I'm trying to be optimistic about things in my life. Ie: Because of the fact you walked out of my life and you're no longer there for me, I now have room in my life for people who would never do that to me ; because of the fact you like to gamble, I got a new purse ; because of the fact we're not friends anymore, i don't have to keep lying to you, convincing you that you are pretty. So, yeah that's my new way of thinking about things.. The boyfriend is gone.. but they get out not this Tuesday but the following Tuesday, (I think) EEK. I'm excited for what this summer has to bring.. Maybe new friends. I know a loss of a lot of my current ones. Maybe I'll get a job. Or a car. Maybe something will happen and I'll have to move. Idk. I'm excited though. I'm ready for change. C'ariaAushla'Juan is a unique name, I should never be limited to the same ole every single day. I have this new rule in my life now, though, once you leave don't expect to come back into my life. Real talk. I'm tired of shitty ass people trying me anyway they want to. So, if someone decides to stop talking to me. Stop hanging out with me. Then that's cool with me. Just don't come back whenever you start missing me. My medicine is kicking in.... ♥
xoxo,
C'aria.