I'm different.

"Silent screams you're just so beautiful in blue...." Today I realized I am absolutely, positively different than most teenagers. I am not weird different, as some people would like to believe, I'm just different. I sit by myself and do absolutely nothing most of the time, all by my lonesome, staring off into space daydreaming about bob-knows-what. And yes, there are a lot of teenagers that do that in school especially those with no friends but I find comfort in being alone.. I do not want to be in the crowd constantly as if I HAVE to fit in to be happy... I am completely comfortable walking alone to class, sitting by myself in the corner, finishing my tests and just sitting there. I think I'm going to start bringing a book to class so maybe I wouldn't be bored while being 'comfortable' either way I'm still happy so that's all that matters. Today, I thought that maybe my cellular device had been turned off because I got 0 text messages and 0 calls until my best friend called then after that I took a nap and woke up with 0 text messages and 0 calls.. Maybe that is telling me I am separating myself from my friends.. or that I just have none to start off with. BUT EITHER WAY I'M STILL HAPPY. I have a best friend and a boyfriend, whom I am both grateful to still have in my life, so I have no complaints on this side. I tried semi-apologizing to pit-bull BUT it was an epic fail and we're still not friends.. but who cares?! I surely don't, I'm just ready to end this semester so I can move on with my life. It's kind of funny that I'm in such a good mood about having no real friends and about losing those that were once close to me.. Maybe it is just a cover-up, maybe deep down I am really hurt but I'm tired of showing emotions, I'm tired of crying over those that are not losing a wink of sleep over me. The old C'aria would be completely depressed, listening to screamo, sitting in the middle of the road, crying her eyes out; the new C'aria, the girl I've become, insteads just rants and rambles in her blog. I think I like the new me but then again bottling up my true emotions last year just resulted into the old me.. soo... I don't know if I'm progressing or regressing? Ah, I am truly rambling now but that's why my blog is titled "Ramblings of a Venter" because that's all I really do.. ramble (I apologize to my readers). So after reading this, you tell me, am I different?
xoxo,
Caria.