Day three.

Day 3 — Your parents

Dear Parents,
I address this to parents but in actuality I have a parent(mom) and a man that is suppose to be a father figure. Well for starters, after 16 years of you having practice of being a parental figure, you still have a lot of things to learn. You are still someone that still just has the label but there is not much meaning behind that. I mean yeah you buy me things that I am grateful for and you put food in my stomach but you can still put a man or drinking before me. I hate days when you go out and get drunk because I know you're going to end up drinking&driving and it makes me cry myself to sleep, which you probably don't know because on those nights you never come home. But I have two more years and then you'll realize just how much I mean to you. And then there is you, someone that came into my life whenever another one left. You are someone I considered a parent, someone that I love. But I've been replaced and it feels me with immense pain. You have a family of your own now and it's cute I guess. I see all of the family portraits. All of the family gatherings. But I'm not there, I'm never invited. You were suppose to always be in my life, no matter what. You came into my life so why are you not in it now? Am I still getting that car for graduation? Or are you saving that for your own children now? Because now you have children that are blood related to you? Last time I remembered, you did consider me one of yours. The only time I hear from you is when you want to make sure I'm still doing well in school. Are you proud of me? I remember once I texted you randomly telling you that I love you and how much I miss you. I never got a reply. You have no clue how much that hurt me. And when my grandpa got sick, I told you more than once to come visit him because you know how much you meant to him. But you were too busy I guess. I gave you months and then when he got in the hospital and I told you not too much time was left, you still weren't there. But you did send flowers, thank you. Wow.. this was hard to type.

"Forgive sounds good, forget I'm not sure I could.. They say time heals everything but I'm still waiting.."
xoxo,
C'aria.