nobody looks.

"is it possible mr. lovable is already in my life? right in front of me or maybe you're in disguise? who doesn't long for someone to hold, who knows how to love you without being told?" I feel kind of relieved because I sent Angus an email, letting everything off of my chest. It's nice being able to tell all your secrets to someone who you don't care if they tell their friends. I realized though that while you're silently crying, nobody ever looks and asks you what is wrong. They just keep going on with their business. That makes me think if I just suddenly disappeared would people just keep going on with their business? Ah, I'm regressing back to my old self. I long for happiness. I mean I'm happy. But I don't have happiness. If that makes any sense to you at all. I can smile, I can laugh, I can be completely silly but when it comes down to it I'm not 100% full of happiness. There is this little piece of me that is still sad. I wish someone would just realize that I'm going through something right now because it upsets me more and more that they can't see that something is different about me. Right now I'm crying. That's just great. Ugh. I think these mood swings are killing me.. lol. But ma mere thinks I'm prego. That's just wonderful. I seriously don't know why people always think I am pregnant, out of all the people. I wore my lip ring out in public today for the first time in weeks and it felt nice. I may just start wearing it again. My rambles are getting shorter&shorter.. I don't even know why. I hate Sundays because I always get to sit back and think about the boring weekend I had. Yesterday, I washed my hair without even thinking about the fact that there was no blow-dryer.. So, I had to air dry my hair. Waking up with a big poof of curls/waves. I'm so glad my straightener can do wonders, thank you hot pink solia. I really honestly have nothing else to ramble about.. Wow, I'm like sitting here actually thinking about what to ramble... That may mean I need to stop now. So, that's exactly what I'll do. Good-bye.
xoxo,
C'aria.
p.s. earlier I was thinking about ways I could end my blogs... I have the regular song lyrics at the beginning but my endings are horrible. & also I was thinking about when I get older turning my rambling blog into a blog with pictures and a video of such of the "college life". Lol, "My Life as C'aria."