i'm crazy.

"please just don't play with me, my paper heart will bleed........ tears fall down my face, the taste is something new..." I skipped a little part of the song and changed the lyrics from tears fall down your face to my face because this song describes how I feel, atm. Maybe I'm just crazy and I overreact to everything. Either way I'm still upset. I don't see how someone can jokingly talk about not loving someone or that they are going to leave them. I mean it's cool when you're not serious with the person but it comes a point where you just don't say shit like that. It's not cool. And then I feel like a big ass dummy 'cause I'm in tears and my ear is on fucking fire and I can't stop crying but then again I'm in so much pain. But I'm going to stick by new motto: "If it doesn't bother you, then I'm going to let it bother me." I'm tired of wasting my tears over people who just don't give a fuck. And I'm tired of constantly worrying about people who don't even care. And I'm tired of wondering why are they not talking to me?! When they are texting everybody else. So, I'm just TIRED. Point-blank. I'm tired and I'm done. Fuck it. Fuck everyone. Fuck not caring. Fuck you playing around and saying shit that upset me to the point where I cried for at least an hour. Fuck you not even thinking twice about what you were saying. Fuck you for not wanting to talk to me. Just fuck you and all of your bull shit. Fuck you tears that are coming back. Just FUCKKKK! I'm not sure if I'm even going to publish this. But I needed to let this out. I'm tired of just fucking care too bobdamn much to the point where I can't even say anything. I CARE ABOUT YOUR FEELINGS. and yours. and yours, too. EVERYONE. I CARE ABOUT EVERYONE. Even people I can't even stand. EVEN THOSE THAT I WISH WOULD FUCKING ROLL OVER AND DIE. I still care about you. I may talk about you. I may call you ugly. I may give you crude nicknames. But you know what? I STILL CARE. That's my problem. I NEED TO STOP CARING. But I can't stop. That's my downfall, that's why everyone claims they love me. Oh but when it comes down to it.. who really loves me? Not many. Not many at all. And oh yeah I'm tired of fake ass friends. Get out of my life before I have to tell you to. UGH. I wish this blog was read by EVERYFUCKINGBODY. Then maybe everyone would get the memo. Oh gosh I'm really upset...... I need to stop now... Good night. Good bye. Little readers like I said... I'm crazy. ♥
xoxo,
C'aria.